Parenting Test questions

You find a half-empty vodka bottle under your 15-year-old daughter's bed.

Entender antes de sentenciar; mantén el mapa.

You get home exhausted and find the living room wall painted with permanent marker. Your 6-year-old looks at you in silence. You…

Límites claros, reparación

Your 10-year-old daughter lies to you about where she was after school.

Curiosidad antes que castigo abre la puerta.

Your 12-year-old child yells 'I hate you!' because you've told them they can't go to a party.

Límite firme + emoción acogida ≠ permisividad.

Your 18-month-old daughter throws food on the floor, laughing and looking you in the eye.

Límite físico breve > discurso > castigo.

Your 2-year-old child hits you in the face playfully. You...

Límites claros y cálidos

Your 22-month-old has discovered that throwing her spoon from her high chair is the funniest thing ever. She's thrown 7 spoons. You...

Extinción conductual, Consecuencia natural

Your 6-year-old daughter hits you when you tell her 'no' to having sweets before dinner.

Contención física sí; violencia no.

Your 6-year-old tells you 'I hate you' because you've said no to ice cream before dinner. You...

Validar, Limitar, Sostener

You accidentally find messages on their phone suggesting they're trying alcohol on weekends. You…

Diálogo indirecto, confianza

Your 14-year-old daughter arrives home two hours late without warning. She's fine.

No decidir consecuencia en caliente.

Your 14-year-old daughter asks you to drop her off at the corner, not right at the school gates, because she doesn't want to be seen with you. You...

Autonomía, Validación e Intimidad

Your 15-year-old daughter arrives home an hour late from an outing and didn't answer her phone. You...

Diálogo, Límites Respetuosos

Your 15-year-old tells you: "I'm going to Marcos's house to study." You know Marcos isn't home today. You...

Monitoreo transparente, Confianza bidireccional

Your 16-year-old tells you they're vegan and demands that the entire family change their eating habits.

Apoyo individual + sistema familiar negociado.

Your 17-year-old comes home from a party. They smell of alcohol. They're walking fine and you picked them up in their friend's dad's car (the friend wasn't driving). You...

Diálogo retrasado, Límites claros

Your teenager fails 4 subjects. You...

Autonomía con límites

At the birthday party, your 5-year-old loses the game of musical chairs and throws himself on the floor screaming, "I WANT TO DIE." There are 12 parents watching. You…

Validar, nombrar y guiar

Your 11-year-old comes home from school very quiet and says 'nothing's wrong' when you ask.

Disponibilidad calmada > interrogatorio.

Your 15-year-old tells you, 'sometimes I think the world would be better off without me.'

Ideación suicida verbalizada = consulta profesional, siempre.

Your 16-year-old daughter, usually open, has been answering in monosyllables for a month. There's no apparent drama. You...

Conexión gentil, Autonomía respetada

Your 2-year-old falls, looks at you, assesses the situation for 3 seconds, and then starts crying as if they've had an amputation. They haven't actually hurt themselves at all. You...

Validar y regular

Your 5-year-old is crying inconsolably because their drawing 'turned out all wrong'.

Valida emoción, no resuelvas tarea.

Your child is crying inconsolably because a friend didn't invite them to their birthday party. You...

Validar y contener

Your teenager has been holed up in their room for 3 days, irritable and snapping at everyone. You...

Conexión en la distancia

Bath time. They've been saying "I'm coming now" for 10 minutes without moving. You...

Elección con límites

Bedtime. Your 3-year-old asks for 'just one more story' for the fifth time.

Rutina = predictibilidad cálida, no rigidez.

It’s 7:14 in the morning. Your 18-month-old has been awake for 40 minutes, and you haven't even managed to open both eyes yet. He brings you a book. Again. You…

Apego seguro, Conexión temprana

You're 12 minutes late for school for the third time this week. The reason: your 5-year-old insisted on wearing the left sock on the right foot 'just because'. You…

Autonomía con estructura

You've given your 10-year-old three warnings to set the table. He's still playing. Dinner's ready. You...

Límites claros, consecuencias lógicas

Your 18-month-old won't sleep. They've been crying in the crib for 40 minutes. You...

Apoyo gradual, Límite suave

Your 9-year-old daughter NEVER tidies her room. You’ve had the conversation 50 times already.

Rutina acompañada > orden repetida 50 veces.

Your 10-year-old wants to go to the park alone. It's about 200 yards away, down a quiet street. You...

Autonomía con estructura

Your 10-year-old wants to walk to school alone (a 15-minute walk, crossing a main road).

Andamiaje gradual > burbuja o abandono.

Your 16-year-old daughter wants to go Interrailing with two friends over the summer. Three countries, 15 days.

Autonomía 16+ = planificación conjunta, no prohibición.

Your 5-year-old daughter wants to put her shoes on herself. It takes her 10 minutes. You're running late.

Autonomía con marco temporal, no autonomía absoluta.

Your 6-year-old daughter wants to dress herself for a birthday party. The result: a pink tutu, dinosaur leggings, and Wellington boots. It's sunny outside. You...

Autonomía, Autoexpresión, Validación

Your teenager wants to quit a sport they've been doing for six years. You...

Autonomía con apoyo

You agreed on 30 minutes of tablet time. It’s been 45, and you ask them to turn it off. 'Just five more minutes, please.' You...

Límites claros, Previsibilidad activa

You catch your 12-year-old watching a YouTuber using swear words and making suggestive jokes. You...

Diálogo, guía, alfabetización mediática

Your 11-year-old asks for Fortnite because 'all their friends have it.'

Contrato escrito > prohibición > barra libre.

Your 11-year-old asks for Fortnite because "EVERYONE in class plays it." You've confirmed with two other parents that only three actually do. You...

Mediación activa

Your 5-year-old asks for the tablet as soon as they walk in the door. They already get 30 minutes a day and want more.

Pantalla con tope predecible > prohibición o barra libre.

Your 6-year-old daughter drops this bombshell at dinner: "Mom, why do you get to look at your phone at the table, but I don't?" Awkward silence. You...

Coherencia, modelado, diálogo

On weekends at your in-laws', your partner turns into a different person and lets things slide that they wouldn't tolerate during the week. The children notice. You...

Frente unido, Conflicto constructivo

You suspect your 17-year-old son's girlfriend is checking his phone and telling him who he can talk to.

Activa su criterio > impón tu juicio.

You're cooking dinner. You've been with the kids all day. Your partner comes home from work and says, "Couldn't you have done the laundry too?" You...

Reparar, posponer constructivo

Your 15-year-old daughter has a girlfriend (the same age). You come home from work and find them kissing on the sofa.

Saludo normal, conversación específica después.

Your partner good-naturedly tells you, "You don't realise it, but you're on your phone all the time when you're with the kids." You wrack your brain... they're right. You...

Autoconciencia y reparación

Your partner scolds your child for something you usually allow. In front of the child, you...

Frente unido, Respeto mutuo

You catch your 14-year-old son watching pornography in his room.

Sin escándalo + contexto educativo posterior.

You catch your 15-year-old watching porn on their phone. They quickly close the screen. Absolute silence. You…

Diálogo, intimidad y conciencia

You discover your 15-year-old has a secret Instagram account with risqué photos.

Confronta sin dramatizar; conversación > confiscación.

You find out your 14-year-old daughter has a secret Instagram account. You…

Diálogo y seguridad

Your 14-year-old daughter sent a photo of herself in her underwear to a boy. He then forwarded it to a group chat.

Cero culpa a víctima + vía legal contra difusor.

Your 14-year-old daughter uploads a TikTok of herself dancing in an outfit you think is too revealing. It gets 2.3k likes. What do you do?

Comprender y guiar

Your 10-year-old daughter has been staring at her homework for an hour, doing nothing. She asks for your help. You...

Apoyo con autonomía

Your 16-year-old son has failed four subjects. He says 'the system is rubbish.'

Valida queja + devuelve agencia + mantén horizonte.

Your 9-year-old asks you to "check" their essay. It's really bad. If they hand it in like this, they'll fail. You…

Apoyo andamiado

Your 9-year-old brings home bad grades and says, 'The teacher has it in for me.'

Primero escucha, luego plan.

You've just had your second child. Your older child (5) brings a toy car to the baby… and squashes it against their face. "I wanted them to play." You...

Implicación empática y responsabilidad

Your kids (9 and 11) are fighting over the remote for the umpteenth time. You…

Límites lógicos, Autonomía

Your older child (12) tells you privately: "You're always softer with my sister." They have a point. You...

Validar y preguntar

Your two children (8 and 10) are yelling at each other over who gets the TV remote.

Retira el premio; delega la solución.

Your 16-year-old says they don't want to go to university; they want to be a DJ. You were expecting medicine. You...

Autonomía con responsabilidad

Your 9-year-old tells you the teacher "has it in for them." You've noticed their grades are dropping. You…

Alianza escuela-familia

Your child's teacher tells you your 6-year-old bit another child. When you ask him at home, he says, 'He took my pencil.' You...

Disciplina consciente, Educar emociones

At the supermarket, your 5-year-old throws herself on the floor, screaming because you won't buy her a Kinder Surprise. People are staring. You...

Validar y contener

Your 2-year-old throws themselves onto the supermarket floor because you won't buy them cookies. People are staring.

Rabieta = co-regulación, no negociación.

Your 4-year-old has been in a 25-minute loop because you cut his banana, and "he wanted it whole." You even tried sticking it back together with a fork. It didn't work. You...

Validar y resolver

Another parent from school tells you there are some 'weird' photos circulating in a kids' WhatsApp group. Your 11-year-old son is in the group. You...

Diálogo y acompañamiento digital

Your 11-year-old daughter casually mentions that an older cousin 'sometimes tickles her in weird ways.' You…

Validar, escuchar, proteger

Your 15-year-old daughter shows you marks on her arm. She says she 'sometimes cuts herself.' You...

Apoyo incondicional, Ayuda profesional

Your 10-year-old finishes the test in 15 minutes, perfectly, then starts making paper aeroplanes. Detention again. You…

Apoyo a la superdotación

Your 13-year-old highly able daughter says, 'I don't fit in, everyone's stupid,' and doesn't want to go to school.

Atender + no rescatar = clave en AACC.

Your child's teacher says your child is bored, finishes tasks quickly, and is disruptive. At home, they ask a million questions. You...

Evaluación, Enriquecimiento, Necesidades Educativas

Your 11-year-old daughter brings a friend home who is quite rude to her in front of you. Your daughter laughs nervously. You...

Validar y empoderar

Your 15-year-old daughter has a friend who is clearly using her: copying her tests, bailing on her, and only showing up when it's convenient. You…

Autonomía con guía, Crianza reflexiva

Today you yelled at your child more than you would have liked. They went to bed crying. You...

Reparación relacional, Empatía activa

You haven't had a moment to yourself in weeks. You're at your breaking point. An opportunity for a child-free outing comes up for Saturday afternoon. Your partner can cover childcare. You…

Autocuidado esencial

Your 11-year-old daughter comes home from school saying, "I'm ugly and nobody likes me." She's been like this for a week. You...

Validar y sostener

Your 14-year-old daughter has been obsessed with her weight for weeks. She wants to "go on a diet." She's at a healthy weight. You...

Diálogo y Profesional

Your 10-year-old daughter spent her entire month's allowance on trading card packs in 3 days. Now she's asking for money to go to the cinema with friends. You...

Consecuencia natural

Your 16-year-old daughter wants to work this summer. You'd prefer her to rest. You…

Autonomía con apoyo

You discover your 11-year-old has lied about a school grade. You…

Diálogo y Consecuencia

Your 6-year-old swears they didn't break the vase. It's obvious they did.

Separa romper de mentir; baja la amenaza, sube la verdad.

Your 2-year-old has decided today they're only eating "white food." Pasta, yes. Rice, yes. Banana, fine. Broccoli is a personal insult. It's been like this for three days. You...

División de Responsabilidad

At a dinner party, you mention that your 3-year-old still sleeps with you. A friend blurts out: "Oh my goodness, what a mistake, that's not how you raise an independent person." You…

Diferenciación, límites claros

Your charming but intrusive mother tells your 4-year-old daughter, "Your mum doesn't eat sweets, but you can with me, right?" A knowing wink included. You...

Límites claros, respeto mutuo

Your 15-year-old tells you they think they're bisexual. You...

Apoyo incondicional, Validación

Your 10-year-old daughter blurts out in the car, "Mom/Dad, what's a blowjob?" You're doing 70 mph. You...

Comunicación abierta y honesta

Your 10-year-old has left their sandwich, backpack, and sweatshirt at school for the fourth time this month. You get a call asking you to go pick them up. What do you do?

Consecuencias naturales, Autonomía

You're separated. Your ex tells your child, "If you're good here, next weekend we'll go to Disneyland." You know it's not true. Your child excitedly tells you. You...

Validar ilusión, anclar presente

Holiday time at Grandma and Grandpa's house. Your 2-year-old, who usually sleeps independently in their crib, wakes up tonight and only calms down when snuggled next to you, kicking gently. You...

Flexibilidad con límites

Your 9-year-old, who is very active, has just been recommended for an ADHD assessment. At home there's a split: your partner says, "He's just a boy, leave him be." You...

Evaluación, Apoyo temprano