Your 11-year-old daughter casually mentions that an older cousin 'sometimes tickles her in weird ways.' You…
This is just 1 of 100+ questions in the Parenting Test
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Take the Parenting Test →Why this situation matters
Cuando tu hija te confía algo tan delicado como un toque inapropiado, tu reacción inmediata es crucial. No solo moldea la percepción que ella tiene de la seguridad y la confianza en ti, sino que también sienta las bases para cómo se enfrentará a situaciones similares en el futuro. Es un momento en el que se pone a prueba la solidez de vuestro vínculo y tu capacidad para protegerla.
Desde una perspectiva psicológica, la forma en que validamos o desestimamos las experiencias de nuestros hijos puede influir significativamente en su autoestima y en su disposición a buscar ayuda. Mostrar una respuesta empática y serena, incluso ante algo perturbador, les enseña que son escuchados y que su bienestar es tu prioridad. Por el contrario, una reacción excesivamente dramática o, peor aún, desestimatoria, puede hacer que se arrepientan de haber compartido y cierren sus canales de comunicación.
Este escenario es un espejo de cómo manejas la seguridad de tus hijos y cómo les enseñas a navegar por un mundo complejo. ¿Estás listo para descubrir qué tipo de padre eres en estas circunstancias?
The possible answers
These are the options you'll see in the test. Each one measures something different — we won't tell you which is best here (that's what the test is for 😉).
- ADownplay it so you don't scare her.
- BThank her for telling you, listen calmly, and consult a professional.
- CImmediately go and confront the cousin.
- DTell her never to be with him again, without explaining why.
What the experts say
Joan Durrant
positive discipline expert, UNICEF
“An adult's response to a child's disclosure is critical. It must focus on validation and safety.”
Bruce D. Perry
child psychiatrist, The Child Trauma Academy
“A child who feels safe is more likely to communicate their concerns and trust adults for their protection.”
Save the Children
international NGO
“Child protection requires active listening, validation of the child's experience, and appropriate intervention without causing alarm.”
Devil's advocate
Common objection
But what if they were just silly tickles and I'm overthinking or causing a family conflict for nothing?
Why it falls short
It's natural to be cautious, but when faced with the phrase 'weird tickles', the priority is the child's safety and well-being. It's better to investigate discreetly and professionally than to regret not having acted, without needing to dramatise or alarm them. Calmness is compatible with diligence.
This is just 1 of 100+ questions in the Parenting Test
Want to know your real style and get a full diagnosis? Takes 2 minutes, free.
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