Your partner drinks more than they should several nights a week, and it's affecting them. You...
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Take the Couple Test →Why this situation matters
Seeing a partner struggle with excessive drinking can be incredibly challenging and emotionally draining. It's a situation that often brings a mix of worry, frustration, and helplessness into the relationship dynamic. How you choose to respond can significantly impact not only your partner's potential for change but also your own well-being and the overall health of your bond.
Alcohol consumption, when it becomes excessive, can ripple through a relationship in many ways. It might lead to missed responsibilities, altered personalities, financial strain, or a breakdown in communication. Psychologically, it can erode trust and intimacy, making both partners feel isolated. Addressing this issue requires a delicate balance of concern, clear boundaries, and self-preservation.
Understanding the various ways partners react to such a sensitive issue can shed light on underlying communication patterns and coping mechanisms within your relationship. Reflecting on your typical responses can provide valuable insight into its strengths and weaknesses, helping you navigate future challenges more effectively. Find out how your approach aligns with healthy relationship strategies.
The possible answers
Tap the option you would choose
What the experts say
William Miller
Expert in Motivational Interviewing
“Empathy and reflection are key to facilitating change, not direct confrontation.”
John Gottman
Relationship researcher
“Criticism and contempt are poison for any relationship.”
Stan Tatkin
Therapist and author
“Avoidance and the lack of constructive confrontation of problems undermine relational security.”
Devil's advocate
Common objection
But what if my partner takes it badly anyway when I tell them? Sometimes it's easier not to say anything to avoid an argument.
Why it falls short
It's true that there's no guarantee the reaction will be ideal. However, addressing the problem based on your feelings reduces defensiveness. While uncomfortable, postponing the conversation without tackling the root cause often leads to greater long-term harm than the initial confrontation, however difficult it may be. Communication is the only viable path.
This is just 1 of 100+ questions in the Couple Test
See how you two work together, based on Gottman's research. Free, 3 minutes.
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