Your 10-year-old wants to go to the park alone. It's about 200 yards away, down a quiet street. You...

Why this situation matters

The possible answers

Tap the option you would choose

• A

  "Absolutely not, you're far too young."

  Not the ideal one. Why this falls short: Denying him the outing due to his age stifles his independence and the opportunity to learn to assess risks, which can lead to resentment and lower self-confidence. This is associated with an overprotective parenting style that hinders the development of self-efficacy.
• B

  Agree on a time, a route, and make sure he takes his watch.

  Ideal answer. Why this is the ideal answer: Allowing autonomy under supervision facilitates the development of responsibility. Establishing clear, negotiated boundaries, such as time and route, fosters independence while maintaining safety. This approach aligns with authoritative parenting, which balances support with expectations.
• C

  Let him go, but follow behind without him seeing you.

  Not the ideal one. Why this falls short: Following your child without their knowledge undermines mutual trust and deprives them of the real experience of autonomy and responsibility. While you seek safety, the implicit message is one of distrust, making it harder for them to develop their own vigilance and sense of direction.
• D

  "Whatever you want," without discussing anything.

  Not the ideal one. Why this falls short: Letting him go 'as he likes' without setting any rules or discussing the situation exposes him to unnecessary risks. The lack of structure and expectations can confuse the child and doesn't provide them with the necessary tools to make safe decisions, falling into a permissive style that neglects parental guidance.

What the experts say

• Lenore Skenazy

  Journalist and author

  “Our children are stronger than we think. Giving them freedom, with common sense, is crucial for them to grow in autonomy.”

• Laurence Steinberg

  Developmental psychologist

  “Authoritative parenting, which combines high demands with high responsiveness, is consistently associated with the best outcomes in children.”

• Diana Baumrind

  Clinical psychologist

  “Authoritative parents exert firm but reasonable control, encouraging autonomy within clear limits.”

Devil's advocate

Related questions

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