You catch your 12-year-old watching a YouTuber using swear words and making suggestive jokes. You...

Why this situation matters

The possible answers

Tap the option you would choose

• A

  Take away their phone and block YouTube.

  Not the ideal one. Why this falls short: Taking away the phone and blocking YouTube unilaterally often leads to a breakdown in communication and trust. The adolescent, not understanding 'why,' may look for ways to bypass the restriction or watch the content secretly, making your supervision and influence more difficult. External control without dialogue is rarely sustainable long-term.
• B

  Sit down with them, watch for a bit, and discuss it.

  Ideal answer. Why this is the ideal answer: Sitting down to watch content with your child and then discussing it promotes media literacy and critical thinking. It's an opportunity to guide without banning, fostering a relationship of trust and open communication. It also allows you to understand what they're watching and why they like it.
• C

  Laugh it off and carry on with what you were doing.

  Not the ideal one. Why this falls short: Downplaying or ignoring problematic content can send the message that such language or attitudes are acceptable. You miss an opportunity to educate about the potential impacts of what they consume and to set appropriate boundaries, leaving your child without guidance in a complex digital environment. Permissiveness is often mistaken for supporting autonomy, but it actually leaves the child without tools.
• D

  Say nothing but feel worried.

  Not the ideal one. Why this falls short: Worrying in silence without acting doesn't resolve the situation and leaves you in the same state of uncertainty. Inaction can be perceived by the adolescent as disinterest or approval, and you risk the problematic content continuing or escalating without your knowledge or intervention. Avoidance provides no solutions for your concern or the child's well-being.

What the experts say

• Sonia Livingstone

  Professor of Social Psychology, LSE

  “Effective media literacy is not about protecting children from media, but empowering them to navigate it judiciously.”

• Laurence Steinberg

  Professor of Psychology, Temple University

  “Authoritative parents foster autonomy through dialogue and explanation, setting clear but flexible boundaries.”

• Daniel Siegel

  Neuropsychiatrist and author

  “Connecting with our children, even in areas where we're uncomfortable, builds their resilience and our relationship.”

Devil's advocate

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