Your ex texts you 'I miss you' just when you're doing better. You...

This is just 1 of 100+ questions in the Couple Test
See how you two work together, based on Gottman's research. Free, 3 minutes.
Take the Couple Test →Why this situation matters
Receiving an unexpected message from an ex, especially one expressing longing, can be surprisingly disruptive, even if you feel you've moved on. These moments often trigger a complex mix of emotions, from curiosity and nostalgia to irritation or even a sense of validation.
Understanding how to navigate such communication is crucial for maintaining your emotional equilibrium and protecting the progress you've made, particularly in a new relationship. Your reaction, or lack thereof, can significantly impact your current emotional state and, if applicable, your partner's trust and sense of security. It's not just about the ex; it's about setting boundaries and valuing your present.
How you choose to handle this common, yet often overlooked, relationship challenge speaks volumes about your self-respect and your commitment to your current path. To explore how your approach aligns with healthy relationship dynamics and personal well-being, dive into the full assessment.
The possible answers
Tap the option you would choose
What the experts say
Esther Perel
Psychotherapist, author
“The quality of our breakup directly affects the quality of our next relationship.”
John Gottman
Psychologist, relationships researcher
“Criticism is one of the Four Horsemen of the relational Apocalypse, even among ex-partners, it hinders closure and peace.”
Devil's advocate
Common objection
Why respond if you're doing well? Ignoring is better, or at most, leaving it on read to save energy. You don't owe them an explanation.
Why it falls short
Although ignoring or 'ghosting' seems like an easy path, it often prolongs uncertainty for both parties and can generate indirect discomfort. A short and clear response, though not always instantaneous, communicates boundaries more maturely and allows for more effective emotional closure for both parties according to attachment theory.
This is just 1 of 100+ questions in the Couple Test
See how you two work together, based on Gottman's research. Free, 3 minutes.
Take the Couple Test →Related questions
At every family meal, they ask you, "So, when are you getting a partner?" You...
Límites claros, respeto mutuo
You've been single for a while and feel family pressure to "settle down." You...
Límites claros, Autonomía total
It's your anniversary, and your partner forgets to congratulate you until the evening. You...
Vulnerabilidad y acuerdo
You've been on dating apps for months, and everything feels empty. You...
Pausa y reflexión
You've been single for a while, and a friend insists on setting you up with someone. You...
Apertura sin presión
You've just come out of a long-term relationship and a friend is bugging you to get on dating apps "right now." You...
Procesar, Sanar, Avanzar
Part of the Fami ecosystem
Sites made by families, for families. Start with the two most loved:
The task manager that coordinates your whole family — without the stress.
Visit →famiEduca.comA platform where children learn on their own, the fun way.
Visit →Worldwide guide of destinations and points of interest for family travel.
Restaurants where great food is also for the kids.
Challenges and games to rediscover the joy of playing together.
Easy recipes to cook with the little ones.
Films handpicked to watch as a family.
Reads for small big readers.