You've been dating for a year, and your partner wants to move in together. You're having doubts. You...
This is just 1 of 100+ questions in the Couple Test
See how you two work together, based on Gottman's research. Free, 3 minutes.
Take the Couple Test →Why this situation matters
Moving in together is a significant step in any relationship, symbolizing a deepening commitment and a shared future. It's natural for both excitement and apprehension to arise as you consider such a major life change. These doubts, while sometimes uncomfortable, are vital signals that should be explored rather than suppressed.
Ignoring your reservations about cohabitation can lead to resentment, misunderstandings, and a diminished sense of individual well-being down the line. A healthy relationship thrives on open communication and mutual understanding, especially when navigating big decisions. The ability to articulate your feelings and collaborate on solutions strengthens the bond and builds a foundation of trust and respect.
This moment offers a crucial opportunity to reflect on your individual needs, boundaries, and expectations for shared living. How you approach these conversations can set the tone for your future together. Understanding your own patterns and preferred ways of handling such sensitive topics is key to ensuring both partners feel heard and valued. Take this quiz to explore how you typically navigate these important relationship milestones.
The possible answers
Tap the option you would choose
What the experts say
Scott Stanley & Galena Rhoades
Relationship Researchers
“Couples who 'slide' into major milestones like cohabitation have worse outcomes than those who actively 'decide' with communication about each step.”
John Gottman
Clinical Psychologist
“The ability to communicate needs and accept a partner's influence are key markers of stable and happy relationships.”
Sue Johnson
Creator of EFT
“Security in a relationship is built by validating each other's emotions and responding in an accessible and connected way, even in disagreement.”
Devil's advocate
Common objection
But communicating doubts can be interpreted as a lack of commitment or not loving your partner enough. Sometimes it's better to say yes and see what happens.
Why it falls short
While there might be a concern about how doubts are perceived, avoiding honesty only postpones bigger problems. Transparency, when well-communicated, strengthens intimate connection by demonstrating vulnerability and trust—key elements for true commitment.
This is just 1 of 100+ questions in the Couple Test
See how you two work together, based on Gottman's research. Free, 3 minutes.
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